THE BEANBAG PSYCHOLOGIST 19
Social Networking, NOT Working!
Deepa came home after a long hard day of tuitions and tests
and threw herself across the bed, thoroughly exhausted. As sleep crept over
her, she wondered, in the last moment of heavy-lidded consciousness, if her
latest profile picture had received a new comment. Her sleep drew back a little. Had she edited her picture just
right so that the lighting and colouring flattered her features perfectly?
Sleep struggled to take over but Deepa’s anxiety managed to keep it at bay. What
if Sneha, Arjun, Karthik and Chitra had posted “funny” comments really designed
to just annoy her and make her feel silly about herself? Sleep gave up trying
to bring her under its calming oblivion as she forced herself out of bed to
take a “quick look” at her profile.
How about you? Do you check and recheck your response to
others’ online posts so that you appear at your humorous best? Have you
convinced yourself that the number of “likes” you get on a post is a direct
estimate of your value as a person?
Our primal need to belong to a certain social group in
which we feel loved, appreciated and approved of, is beginning to manifest in
quite an interesting way through our contemporary obsession with social
networking. To be connected with friends and family on an informal platform
where all our quirks are celebrated and accepted whereas at the dining table
they would be frowned upon, can be very liberating. One is also encouraged to
take a moment to understand what they are feeling at a particular time and what
opinions they hold on a particular issue so that they may be updated as
statuses or tweets.
This ability of these platforms to stimulate reflection and
thought is a wonderful thing. They promote dialogues between people from
different disciplines and backgrounds, thereby providing everyone with an
opportunity to expand their sphere of experience and knowledge. Right? Well,
maybe not if our understanding of social networking is limited to its potential
to generate a flawless image of ourselves that completely disowns our
imperfections and shortcomings.
Such a “construction” of ourselves and our
lives takes an inordinate amount of time to craft and maintain! Sources
estimate school-going students spend 7 hours a day on an average on these
sites. That is just a criminal waste, considering there are actual people to
meet and make eye contact with, real footballs to be kicked, real saplings to
be planted, real rooms to be tidied up instead of virtual villas, not to
mention an actual person to improve and nurture (thy honourable self), rather
than a virtual avatar!
Everyone has self-doubts, including the circle of friends
whose approval we seek so much. The identity you have for yourself is such an
intimate part of your growth. To invite others’ opinions and judgments in
shaping your self-concept is unfair and harmful. To contribute to a trend of
“watching” what others do with their lives and to exploit the anonymity that
internet affords us to sling harmful comments at others robs the growing
generation of integrity and personal accountability.
Try to look beyond the superficial and you may be able to
experience the joy of genuine human connectedness that goes beyond mere popularity.
SANGEETHA MADHU & JYOTHI RAVICHANDRAN, THE HINDU IN SCHOOL
