YOUNG MINDS 13

On Green Fingers and Pink Hearts

     The glorious vacation time is here! Particularly if glorious means face-melting temperatures and the threat of another long academic year lurking on the other side of the summer. But we’ll deal with potential threats later and possible alternates to have fun this vacation now! Many of you would have a long list of activities planned while some others would simply be looking forward to watch the fan spin its motor off all day. 

     While there are a lot of enjoyable things to do over the vacations, the least considered candidates often would be activities that contribute in some way to the community we live in. Not more than a few students would have planned to be a part of a pro-environment group or a bird-watching group. Why is that so? Simply because playing video-games on the cool floor trumps picking plastic off the hot sands in the beach any day!

     Getting involved in activities that give back to society in some proactive way does wonders for your mental health! Wondering how? For starters, such activities are quite a change from the kind of things many people (adults included, of course) usually engage in. Imagine that you decide to teach the letters of the alphabet to a boy selling sundal on the beach. The novelty of such an experience contributes to expanding your comfort zone. You may learn to speak in a way so that not just your English-speaking, school-going friends understand you. 

     Dialogue with different members of the society will contribute to your understanding of their rather different life situations. With time, you will see that not only will your adaptation to new situations and ideas be a lot easier, but your very perception of people and life will widen, making your mind more open and accommodating of difference in thoughts, opinions and ways of living.

     Suppose you want to get involved in a pro-environment movement. You will get to meet experts from various related fields such as trekkers, scientists, photographers, doctors, educationalists, and what else have you! You will see that your list of interests grows with the number of new things you decide to try, not to mention your repertoire of knowledge and information pertaining to different issues. You ability to connect what you learn at school to community issues you care about will also develop.

     Surely you have heard many professionals who work for the betterment of their community say that the work they do gives their life so much meaning. Such a sentiment stems from the fact that when we reach beyond our private cocoon to other people we feel a strong sense of connection and belonging to a larger human network. We find that we are able to understand others’ emotional and social circumstances better. Such an involvement can inspire us to learn more, give more and do more, which can be a much stronger driving force in our life and careers than simply being ambitious to be the best in something. Imagine the level of service an engineer can offer if he woke up every morning with the drive to create technology that advances living sophistication to all in his country rather than simply wanting to bag an interview in a big magazine!

     If you have ever raised your eyebrows sceptically when an inspired soul said “Nothing is impossible”, you will see that they slowly come back down once you realise that every problem has a solution if you want to solve it passionately enough.

Take ownership of the planet you live on and responsibility for the people you live with. Read to an illiterate, go walking with an elderly person, plant a few trees, and leave out water for the thirsty birds to sip on. The list of small, random acts of kindness is long and its power, immeasurable. Happy holidays!  

SANGEETHA MADHU & JYOTHI RAVICHANDRAN, 

 THE NEW INDIAN EXPRESS- SCHOOL EDITION  

YOUNG MINDS 12

Well, there’s always tomorrow!

It’s that time of the year again when even the most seemingly hurricane-torn room magically rights itself and the smallest requests made by a parent, neighbour or even the staunchest nemesis is met with an eagerly helpful attitude. Anything to get away from the impossibly lofty stack of books and notes, right? Every time you think the most pressing matter at hand is to hover around your father and help him wash the car or to make a detailed time table to help you tackle the exam portions when you eventually start to study rather than actually studying, you are engaging in what is called procrastination, the bane of any student’s life! 

     Procrastination is an act in which you utilize the time you have in completing tasks of low priority in place of tasks with higher priorities or more immediate deadlines. We put off working on some things for a variety of reasons: the tasks in question can be so boring as to induce a state mimicking brain death, or too difficult that you may not feel like you have all the resources to work on it at the moment. There could be reasons for procrastination which lie within us too such as when we get overwhelmed by the task itself because it is too important; disorganised individuals, who have not worked out the tasks to do into an order of importance and immediacy, tend to procrastinate as they may not know where to begin. Many times as you are about to begin work, has it so happened that your parent reprimanded you for not having started yet? As a result of the scolding you received when you were actually getting down to business, you may think “You can’t make me study! Shout all you want, I am going to turn a deaf ear!” This is another contributor to procrastination: rebellion!

     Fear of failure is a large cause of procrastination. A student may feel that no matter how much effort they put into studying, they will end up forgetting or making a mistake in the exam all the same and thus end up putting off preparations. Some students, on the other hand, may feel that if they succeed in this exam, pressure on them to perform well in all other subsequent exams will increase and hence put off studying! 

     One other important reason can be ill adjustment in school. When a student feels like he doesn’t belong in his peer group or doesn’t like going to school, his motivation to work in a timely manner will be low. Likewise, little or no interest in a particular subject leads to a student engaging in any other task but homework pertaining to that subject.

     There are ways to overcome procrastination and one of them is to quite simply visualise in your mind the unpleasant consequences of putting off preparations to the last minute. It is such a cumbersome experience to cram late into the night. There are other opportunities available to witness sunrise than while staring at your textbook with loathing and fear! Simply imagine yourself completing revisions at a reasonable time and enjoying your bedtime by unwinding to some music after a hard day of work and get fitful sleep. Please remember that sleep helps in retention of memory! It helps strengthen and consolidate the facts and concepts that you have learnt through the day. 

     Prioritise your workload by putting them down on paper and tick them off as you complete them. Remember to reward yourself with a little downtime after each task: a small, healthy snack is a great pick-me-up, as well as one great song or a small conversation! Having a studious friend’s support to complete work on time can be helpful. Minimise all distractions, believe in your capability to rise to the occasion and do what needs to be done without anybody’s interference and dictates. All the very best, everyone!

SANGEETHA MADHU & JYOTHI RAVICHANDRAN, 

THE NEW INDIAN EXPRESS- SCHOOL EDITION

YOUNG MINDS 11

Eight is Always Better than One!

     Intelligence is not a single entity but a multi-faceted one. Look through the types of intelligence that people usually possess and figure out your strong areas.

Linguistic intelligence refers to our ability to use spoken and written words to achieve a particular goal. People who are high on this dimension have a great capacity to pick up languages, love reading books, enjoy solving word games and puzzles and have a fondness for sticking their heads out of the car window to read all the advertisement hoardings along the roads. 

     Such linguistically gifted students benefit greatly from story-telling, lectures and debates, brainstorming sessions, writing activities, and extemporaneous speaking.

     Then there are the children of logic! They love asking lots of questions to figure out how something works and how to calculate, quantify and measure objects and ideas. They understand cause-effect relationships between phenomena and reason well. These students possess logical-mathematical intelligence. They will benefit greatly from scientific demonstrations, logical puzzles and problem solving activities, mathematical exercises and sequential presentation of ideas.

     If you were asked to imagine a prism in your mind and rotate it by 45 degrees clockwise, what would you say it looks like? Some people can only answer this with an expression of mild pain but some others can explain wonderfully what this rotation looks like. Such students have spatial intelligence. They enjoy reading maps, solving jig-saw puzzles, drawing and geometry. They may be great at figuring out directions even in a new place. Students high on this dimension will benefit from learning through graphs, diagrams, maps and charts; visual puzzles and mazes; 3D construction kits; picture metaphors; telescopes, microscopes, and binoculars; painting, collage, visual arts and visual thinking exercises.

     Every group has at least one clumsy character, the one that always drops things or walks into objects. These people are the ones that can do with a little training in bodily-kinaesthetic intelligence. People high on this dimension can handle objects skilfully; are very good at sports and dancing; and most importantly, have very good muscular memory i.e. remembering things through movement like how dancers, pilots, and surgeons do. They may benefit greatly from cooperative and competitive games, physical education activities and field trips.

     If there is a hummer in your class who likes to burst into song often, you know what musical intelligence is. Such people are sensitive to rhythms, sounds and music, have the ability to master musical instruments and even compose their own tunes. They will benefit greatly from music appreciation activities, group singing and learning musical concepts.

     What will we ever do without that one social butterfly that goes around the class in the morning greeting everyone boisterously? These students have interpersonal intelligence which refers to their ability to interact effectively with people and to understand others’ motivations, desires and emotions. They may benefit greatly from peer teaching/ group studying, conflict resolution activities, involvement in social and academic clubs and cooperative games.

     If you are the kind that likes to sit by yourself and spend quality time with your own thoughts and ideas, you possess what is called intrapersonal intelligence, which refers to your capacity for self- awareness. You use introspection to know who you are, what you can do and what you want to do. Such students can benefit from learning through self teaching, independent studying, journal keeping and individualized projects.

     If you have ever had your ears blown off for littering or plucking a flower, you have been in the company of a person who has naturalistic intelligence. These individuals readily notice and categorize objects in the natural world. They enjoy the outdoors, and take great pleasure in caring for animals and plants. They will greatly benefit from planetarium visits, ecological awareness exercises, and exposure to animals and botanical species.

     There are so many wonderful career paths to choose from. Just keep your foremost passion in mind and take a pick. The world is your playground!

SANGEETHA MADHU & JYOTHI RAVICHANDRAN, 

THE NEW INDIAN EXPRESS- SCHOOL EDITION

YOUNG MINDS 10

Snip of the tongue

     If we were to imagine that our lives are actually in the format of a TV sitcom, the most heard sounds would be insane laughter from the audience and loud beeps at strategic points in the narrative for we have a great fondness for profanity. We have begun increasingly to resort to cuss words when faced with the task of articulating our emotions. We’d sooner blurt out an expletive in anger and frustration, in sadness, or even in appreciation of something, than find appropriate qualifiers of our experience. As much as swearing seems to offer relief from built-up tension, it can cause more harm than good when used in the long run.

     Throwing around foul words in school with the intention of causing humiliation to a classmate constitutes a nasty form of verbal bullying and can invite unpleasant consequences in the form of negative evaluation by teachers and maybe even suspension. Students can run the risk of being labelled with a negative tag if caught using profane language against others. Such isolated incidents are enough for many to run out of favour with teachers- even if one has an impeccable academic record. 

     Cussing creates a negative impression of the individual as they may be considered to be lacking in social skills. Very often we tend to swear when we are unable to stop and think when we are experiencing a strong emotion and instead react instantly. This difficulty with self-control can be misconstrued as lack of civility and surely we can do without the added burden of a negative assessment by our peers and teachers.

     If you have ever been at the receiving end of an insulting slur made by your classmates, you already know the toxic effects that swearing lends to the general school environment. A culture of cussing at friends and teachers creates a hostile, alienating and threatening climate and this greatly interferes with students’ peace of mind and eventually, the learning process. 

     One of the least desirable effects of swearing, however, is that one does not learn healthy ways to express their feelings and thoughts. Enriching one’s emotional vocabulary to verbalise negative and positive emotions can lend more meaning and significance to one’s experience. Use of inoffensive, alternative words to communicate why you are upset with a situation or a person can reduce the need to use expletives. Developing appropriate strategies to tolerate frustration/disappointment in difficult situations and to manage anger effectively can facilitate coping rather than cussing.

     Reach out to like-minded friends that you trust and form a “buddy system” in which each supports the other in challenging instances, such as when dealing with a difficult teacher or an annoying classmate, and keeps you from losing your cool and giving into cursing. Simply avoiding the person who is the cause of your anger is a great way to contain your bad mood. Art, music, dance, and even play have been proven time and again to promote a positive frame of mind and any kind of physical exertion helps dissipate angry energy.

     It is very important to remember that you aren’t told not to swear by your parents and teachers just because they enjoy doling out advice to you. Use of slang and foul language hardly seem like any crime to people who engage in it but for the person who is subjected to this, it constitutes verbal abuse, which is a serious matter that schools are aware of and increasingly becoming intolerant towards.

     Let’s make a commitment to contributing towards a safe, welcoming and healthy school atmosphere in which differences between people on the basis of backgrounds, opinions and ideas are celebrated and respected.   

SANGEETHA MADHU & JYOTHI RAVICHANDRAN, 

THE NEW INDIAN EXPRESS- SCHOOL EDITION

YOUNG MINDS 09

Why This? Why Now?

     Of all the questions ever asked, the most puzzling one would probably be “Why do people behave the way they do?”. Day in and day out we find ourselves mulling over puzzling remarks made by those around us and making judgments about their behaviours in an attempt to understand our social world. Let’s say that you judged your classmate to be lazy because he has been coming late to class every morning. What you have just done is engaged in a process called ATTRIBUTION where you have tried to reason out your classmate’s tardiness by blaming it on his personal quality of laziness. When a student confesses to hating a subject, he may attribute this to an inadequate teacher which is an external factor that excuses one’s personal responsibility in learning. 

     Attribution is a crucial process by which we attempt to explain our own and others’ behaviour so that we feel comfortable living our social life. It is also very important in determining how we act in a particular situation. In the previous example, you may act in a critical manner to your classmate because you judged him to be lazy. You may be more understanding towards him if you had taken into consideration his unpunctual auto-rickshaw driver who drops him at school late every day.

     There are several styles of attribution which we adopt in various situations. Suppose you were rude to your friend for no apparent reason. You may apologise profusely to her saying you were in a lousy mood because your sister had torn your homework which took 3 long hours to complete. By attributing your rudeness to external factors, you attempt to reduce blame on yourself. Imagine you were at the receiving end of your friend’s temper instead. You may not attribute it so readily to external events that may have forced her to shout at you and may simply label her a ‘hothead’. This negative attribution of behaviour to your friend’s personality leads to more bitterness and makes forgiving difficult than if you had dismissed her behaviour as caused by external factors like you did your own.

     Imagine a new student has arrived in your class. He likes to crack very poor jokes and none of your classmates enjoy them. In such a situation in which the majority does not see eye to eye with the new boy while he finds all poor jokes very funny, you are likely to attribute his silly behaviour to his personal characteristics of  immaturity and stupidity. Consider another situation in which the whole class liked a particular movie and the new boy does not like many movies but really enjoyed this one, you are more likely to attribute his enjoyment of the movie to the movie itself as opposed to his personal taste in movies. Our attributions thus depend on the view of the majority and the degree of likeness between an individual and the larger group, which makes it important that we stay fair while appraising others’ behaviour. Going with the crowd may not always be the right thing.

     As with any social process, we tend to commit many errors while attributing too. One of the common errors is to attribute others’ negative behaviour to their personal, internal factors while under-estimating the external, situational factors. We also tend to attribute positive outcome to our personal characteristics and negative outcomes to external factors. If you have ever boasted about your ‘A’ and your obvious intelligence to friends and indignantly retorted to your mom that half the class failed the test because the teacher is unfair while trying to explain away your ‘C’, you know what this error is about. 

     The most unfortunate error is when we attribute our failures to ourselves and our successes to situations. Such a style of attribution can greatly harm our self-esteem and cause us to become depressed.

     Keep an open mind about others’ life situations and positive personal traits before passing judgment. We would definitely like others to show us the same consideration, wouldn’t we?

SANGEETHA MADHU & JYOTHI RAVICHANDRAN, 

THE NEW INDIAN EXPRESS- SCHOOL EDITION

YOUNG MINDS 08 

Fighting Fire with Icecream!

     As much as we find change to be liberating in terms of its novelty, there is no denying the fact that we all need a constant factor in our lives that will never change, which acts as a secure foundation from which we can explore newness. The very first objects that we came to know as a secure base are our parents. It was while sitting on Mum’s lap as a 2 year old did you first get the nerve to pull the hair of the nice unsuspecting lady sitting next you on the bus. Many kids always manage to catch a fleeting look of their dad’s face before turning a corner and going into their classrooms at school. We have always needed the assurance that there is a capable adult who’s got our back so that we are safe to explore new environments and accumulate rich experiences in our lives.

     This quintessential bond between a child and his parents suddenly morphs into a battle as the child comes to sprout the 10^th tooth. Suddenly the same adults whom we adored and admired become a source of embarrassment. The same father whose strength we showed off to our primary school friends is now “that man” who refuses to understand why you need a mobile phone as a reward for completing your 9^th standard examinations without incident. WE get tired of sentences that begin with “When I was your age....” and THEY get burnt out from hearing “I hate you!” and “Why wasn’t I born in the neighbour’s house?!”

     It is not easy to pinpoint and say which among these parties is right. We all have our reasons for feeling the way we do and saying the things we say. Do you sense a “But” coming? You won’t be disappointed. BUT don’t we all deserve a time-out from these accusations and challenges that fly to and fro and instead just smother our Mums with a hug and put a temporary stop to the arguments in favour of an ice cream break? It is not as hard as it sounds. In fact, you will be very surprised at how tension diffuses like vapour and how great it feels to give your overworked parent and yourself a break and just chill out talking about inconsequential things. 

     Many parents may feel left out of their child’s life as they grow up. Talking to them about your friends, funny incidents at school, movies, books and other stuff that you would usually discuss with your friends can get them to look at you as a companion or a friend rather than just a child who should be spoken down to.

     Having a heart-to-heart talk in which you extract a promise from your parent that they will not react with anger or annoyance and that they will let you speak your part without interrupting can help understand the other’s perspective and rediscover the simple joys of each other’s company. It takes anywhere between just a little effort and enormous grunting effort for different people to listen to their parents’ side of the story. Once both sides have had their say, it is a matter of mutually respectful negotiations and eventual resolution of disagreement.

     It is very important to have a light side to your relationship with your parents. Among school and work pressures, chores, homework, friends, partying, achieving and breathing we tend to make those relationships that give us the greatest joy and security a painful ordeal. So this New Year, take your parents out for a movie, spring a spontaneous game of caroms or basketball on them, break the monotony of surly looks and sulky expressions and have a wonderful time with the beautiful lady and gentleman whom you grew up thinking were the best parents in the whole world. 

SANGEETHA MADHU & JYOTHI RAVICHANDRAN, 

THE NEW INDIAN EXPRESS- SCHOOL EDITION

YOUNG MINDS 07

Understanding Bullying

     The relationship that many of us have with our schools can best be described as a love-hate relationship. We get to learn new things and get a welcome break from the monotony of our home but we also have to negotiate many a skirmish with the people who make school seem worth the effort, our friends. Fortunate are those who have a supportive peer group which helps combat everyday challenges like impossible assignments, difficult teachers and even our issues at home.

     As always, there is another side of the coin that may have slipped from our sight because we have settled down snugly into the comfort of company. The inhabitants of this other side find it painful to get out of bed every morning and walk into school, fully expecting a lonely day and maybe even terrible verbal taunts with a couple of punches thrown in for effect. These children are, what is typically called, the ‘targets’ of bullying- a condemnable act of aggression in which one party inflicts harm, emotional or physical, upon another party as an expression of one’s power over the other. This power imbalance can be in the form of physical prowess, number of members in the group, or even ability. Bullying happens habitually and involves an element of coercion (aggressive force) in which the target is greatly intimidated by the bully.

     Before we take sides and declare all bullies as “evil”, it is important to look at the possible explanations for their behaviour. Research in the area suggests that bullies lack social competence which is the ability to understand the perspectives of other people and awareness of what others think of you. They may perceive rejection from their classmates and may assume that they are a “misfit” or in other ways inferior to others. Such deficient ways of processing social information may be due to neglect or other forms of inadequate family or community environment. In such contexts, what children learn about human relationships is not healthy. 

     Another contrasting theory suggests that the bullying child may actually have a superior understanding of the emotions and “weak points” of the victim and uses this knowledge to manipulate others into isolating the victim from the peer group, spread rumours in bad taste or engages in other forms of indirect bullying.

     Targets of bullying often believe that what happens to them is not in their control and tend to bear taunts and teases. They tend to assume that they are personally inadequate in some way and blame themselves for things that are happening to them. Both parties may feel like their bonds to their social world are weak and exhibit deficient social skills, that is, they are unable to regulate their behaviour in a constructive way in order to build friendships and cooperation.

     It is very important for you to inform your teachers and parents if you are bullied either verbally or physically by your classmates. Assert yourself to the bullying classmate without getting into a fight. You may merely say, “Do not hit me. I will complain to the teachers. You decide if it is worth it to get into trouble.” 

For both the sides- those who engage in bullying and those who get bullied, here is something to think about: No one has the right to invade someone’s personal space such as one’s body or mind. Bullying is an intolerable offence. Feel good about who you are and embrace what you are good at. Identify friends who will support you and find the strength in yourselves to create wonderful memories of your school life. Here’s to cooperation and camaraderie!   

SANGEETHA MADHU & JYOTHI RAVICHANDRAN, 

THE NEW INDIAN EXPRESS- SCHOOL EDITION

YOUNG MINDS 06

The Inside Story

     Storytelling is an amazing manifestation of a person’s exploration and expression of private emotions, imagery and fantasies, and it is arguably the most interesting way to bring out the various layers of a character, either mundane or complex. If you think about it, very few could stand to observe a cat chasing after potential meals all day long if that cat and the potential meal aren’t Tom and Jerry!

     Given the exceeding self-preoccupation that people often demonstrate, it may be assumed that there is one story that everyone cherishes and nurtures more than all others: their own. A story of their own life crafted in a mosaic of moods, thoughts, moments, relationships and lessons that are experienced.  It has to be said that many of us would love the supreme flattery of being immortalised through a magnificent telling of the individuals that we are and the refreshing idiosyncratic ways in which we feel, perceive, aspire and desire in poetry set to a tune!

     Since not all of us stand a chance of getting our incredible life stories published in print, we can nonetheless engage in creating our own ode starting with the wonderful enterprise of introspection. Otherwise called self-reflection, introspection entails withdrawing into our own private worlds for a while, away from the commotion of everyday dialogues and interactions, to take a look inwards. Spending some time with oneself to think about the different emotional responses, thoughts and actions you engaged in can offer you a ‘downtime’, a space to understand the days’ events and accommodate them in your rich inner life.

     Such periods of reflection can throw up some wonderful insights about yourself that you weren’t aware of before. They offer an opportunity for one to shape their own principles. For instance, while deliberating upon a scene you had with a dear friend in which you had a difference of opinion, you may think of two things: one, difference of opinion with a close friend can hurt, and two, friendship can withstand any number of differences as long as there is mutual acceptance of each other as they are. You will be surprised at how many more simple ‘mantras’ of life you can come up with on your own terms that suits your life and relationships best because, let’s face it, we are not going to adhere to something that comes from others’ experience as much as we will if it is from our own.

     There are several activities that facilitate introspection such as maintaining a personal journal, music, art, or anything else that takes your focus away from outside and within yourself. As one goes along with the ebb and flow of a tune, paint brush, or a dance beat, one remains self-aware and is able to express inner conflicts, worries, happiness or even confusion in a positive manner,   giving rise to the satisfaction that one understand oneself a little better at the end of the day. The level of self-awareness than you can enjoy through introspection greatly improves your sense of self and emotional maturity. Once we have figured out our preferences and ideals, controlling and mastering our emotions becomes easier and adaptive behaviour is made possible in challenging situations.

     You don’t have to be an aspiring spiritual leader to engage in introspection! It is easy to lose ourselves in a world that is full of the noises of others’ opinions and dictates. All it takes is a quiet corner and a little soul searching to find yourself at the centre of your very own story.

SANGEETHA MADHU & JYOTHI RAVICHANDRAN, 

THE NEW INDIAN EXPRESS- SCHOOL EDITION

YOUNG MINDS 05

Line of Control

     The most intimate relationships are the ones that are subject to deep emotional investment and hence, numerous conflicts. This may explain why forgiving your best friend is the most difficult thing to do and why talking back to your parents in the most hurtful way feels so effortless and in many cases, satisfying! Often in such instances, we feel like we have a version of the story to tell that the other party does not want to hear. The sense of injustice coupled with the feeling of being misunderstood makes us lash out even more and the problem escalates to unwarranted heights.

     It helps to remember that where intimate relationships like those with your family and close friends are concerned, expectations from all involved are so many, that the slightest let down generates feelings of disappointment and in more serious instances, resentment and anger. It is common to feel that a parent does not care when in reality they may be trying very hard to balance work and their relationship with you. It may even be the case that you are expected to perform excellently in ALL exams and the slightest dip in grades earns you a very disappointed headshake from your parents. A healthier alternative to having unspoken expectations is to have an open understanding as to what can be reasonably expected out of a certain person in a particular situation. For example, you could voice out to your busy parents that you would like them to be available at home over the weekends. A calm dialogue is one step towards achieving a desirable outcome.

     In situations where emotions run high and there is a threat of someone breaking down in tears or firing up with rage, it is advisable to stop all talking and calmly leave the situation. Taking refuge in separate rooms or going out for a walk gives one enough time to calm down and organise one’s thoughts. It is never a good idea to indulge oneself or others in a hostile argument as the chances for things to get offensive and damaging are high. It is important to remember that only if one has good control over one’s emotions, productive discussions and eventual resolution can be achieved.

     In situations where misunderstandings crop up easily, it is good practice to establish a few ground rules that state clearly what people cannot do or say in an argument. Rules such as “No name callings”, “Talk only in a calm tone”, etc can help contain an argument from escalating into a full-fledged fight. A commitment from all persons to stick to these rules is very important and you may discontinue the discussion if any of these rules are broken. Having such ground rules ensures a safe space for people to voice out their concerns in a threat-free environment where they feel respected and heard. Humour can be a great tension diffuser if used appropriately and without undermining anyone.

     You will find that conflicts- either everyday tiffs or critical hair-grabbing fights- resolve themselves seamlessly if we truly recognise that the problem is not the people involved, the problem is the problem itself. Once we realise this our thinking automatically becomes solution-focused and we can see what the other person needs and how best everyone’s interests can be supported.  

SANGEETHA MADHU & JYOTHI RAVICHANDRAN, 

THE NEW INDIAN EXPRESS- SCHOOL EDITION

YOUNG MINDS 04

Simon Says...

     Remember the game that little children so thoroughly enjoy where they have to mimic various actions upon instruction? Like Simon says, “Bray like a donkey”, or Simon says, “Jump up and stay there!” In order to win the game the players have to at least attempt the instructed action or else, a clown’s nose is stuck on them and they are sent to watch from the sidelines. As we grow older, the metaphorical Simon is in the form of our older siblings and numerous classmates and friends; and of course our culture of consumerism and media infusion into every aspect of our social life. 

     A lot of commands that we will have to “perform” so as to fit in and be accepted by everyone may be placed on us by our peers and this contributes to what is known as “peer pressure”. Like all wise people know, being young isn’t easy! Our childhoods and adolescence are a lot more complex than the ones our parents and grandparents may have led. Surely Paati* did not have the headache of scouring the mall the day before Diwali for the perfect bluish-green heels with turquoise overtones, all for watching a Diwali release with her super fashionable friends! We, on the other hand, have to deal with the impossible task of scoring great grades while at the same time making it seem like it was no effort in front of our friends. Surely there is someone in your gang who says “Hey I didn’t study for the test at all man! I am definitely flunking”, and ends up with an ‘A+’. 

     Then there are some of us who wilfully refuse to have anything to do with our homework assignments and exams, telling anyone who would listen that we are beyond mundane academic pursuits and that we are meant for bigger things. Definitely, nothing wrong there. We are meant for bigger and better things. Now what could that be? It could be a fabulously exciting career that doesn’t require big grades but only a keen and creative mind. Maybe one day you will be paid to test videogames and have fun! 

     But the truly ‘big’ event that we are waiting to happen to us can be something a lot less tangible. It is your ability to stand up to pressures from others and resist them by having a strong understanding of yourself, the kind of person you truly are and by having a circle of close friends and family who you respect and trust enough to confide in. It is important to always understand that no can make you do things that you do not want, particularly in terms of trying out cigarettes, alcohol or even bullying fellow classmates. You always have the power to decide upon the right choices by saying ‘Enough is enough!” to yourself for trying so hard to please others and not yourself; by being mature and saying “No” to a group of friends incessantly trying to get you to smoke; by building sufficient courage to say “Yes! Why not?” to a bunch of friends who suggest learning something unfamiliar and new; and by exercising your willingness to push your talents to its absolute limit and have fun doing it. 

     The “big” thing is your ability to be a trend-setter. Imagine being that someone who makes being a “Nerd” a becoming thing to do and non-smoking the hottest, new-age attitude! 

SANGEETHA MADHU & JYOTHI RAVICHANDRAN, 

THE NEW INDIAN EXPRESS- SCHOOL EDITION

YOUNG MINDS 03

What is the matter with the clock?!

     It has only a ridiculous 24-hour cycle on it. Such an impractical predicament it makes for the average school going individual who can barely be bothered with a sniff and a shrug during this time let alone get work done for tomorrow’s first period math class and the mid-terms approaching around the corner. It is not an alien sensation to feel like it was only half an hour ago that you hugged your pillow and clung to it wishing morning never dawned and yet here you are already sitting in class with more assignments to add to the “To Do” list. Who said life is fair? At this juncture, we can only remind ourselves of the saying that goes like “It is the busiest man who has time to spare.” It can be a highly enjoyable and meaningful experience to put the time available to us in a given day to good use and create and learn in an efficient manner. Let’s look at a few tips:

• The first step to managing your workload in a stipulated time frame is planning out a simple arrangement that reduces distractions and instead, offers inspiration to focus and complete the job at hand. You could find a study spot that is away from the TV, your video games, the internet and other forms of distractions. You could even put out a “Genius at work” board that lets others know that you are studying and can’t be disturbed.

• Make a priority list of all your assignments in the order that they are due for submission. Allot time period for completion of each task on a time chart. For example, you could allot 1 hour for completing the English essay; 2 hours for Math homework and so on. Provide enough space for ticking each task off as you complete them. Every tick is worthy of a reward and you may treat yourself to a 15 minute session of video games or comics.

• Do not work continuously without a break! This makes learning cumbersome and forgetting frequent. Study with intense focus for 25 minutes at a time and take a 5 minute break at the end of this period to allow yourself some relaxation. Some students quite enjoy listening to one great song after a study session and find that getting back to work is not such a burden.

• Visualise the studying process in your mind and experience the excitement of completing one homework assignment successfully; imagine the kick of having understood and mastered a concept; decide on the small but enjoyable rewards you will give to yourself after every 25 minute period of working.

• Routine is a wonderful thing! You may consider studying at a fixed time everyday so that you do not find yourself compromising upon leisure for work and vice versa.

• You may have a month-long time table to assist you in preparing for exams with sufficient time allotted for leisure, extra-curricular activities and most importantly, sleep! Sleep is an extremely important factor for memory consolidation. So make sure you avoid last minute cramming and get sufficient sleep every night.

The pleasure that can be found in learning in a way that is personally meaningful and in a way that allows you to appreciate the intrinsic brilliance of any subject is immeasurable and we wish that you find it in abundance! 

SANGEETHA MADHU & JYOTHI RAVICHANDRAN, 

THE NEW INDIAN EXPRESS- SCHOOL EDITION

YOUNG MINDS 02 

Get Set, Emote!

     Many of us needed to be taught some important lessons when we were younger, such as scissors are for cutting paper, not the new, expensive bedspread; your younger sibling’s face is not a punching bag and your father’s official papers are not nose wipes. As these words of caution sailed right over our heads and bounced off the walls, our parents continued teaching. They don’t just give up, you see. As much as we love to identify with our parents and their attitudes, we are still parallelly on a search for our own uniqueness. What can we say is a completely untaught, non-learned part of ourselves? Our emotions. No one can teach another individual how to feel. Your emotions are your own and they cannot exist independent of you. And such wonderful things they are too! Emotions infuse the world and our lives with glorious shades of rose, purples, blues and greens. They can also achieve the contrary and suck colour from all things wonderful. You will find that the neighbour’s fluorescent green exterior paint doesn’t appear green enough on days that you feel gloomy.

     How many times have you heard an upset friend say “I am not sad because of what he said! I am angry!”? None of us wants to admit that something has affected us and we are feeling vulnerable. However, it helps to realise that all emotions serve a purpose and they are a beautiful tool to garner self-awareness. The presence of any emotion or the lack can tell us a great deal about what something means to us. So, correct identification of your emotions is the first step towards cultivating your emotional intelligence. Labelling your emotion accurately and managing it immediately prevents a build-up of negativity and an eventual outburst. Emotions can be managed by allowing oneself to look at a particular situation from various vantage points. As you broaden your perspective, the tendency to take things personally may be controlled and you gain the upper hand in managing the situation. Understand that you always have a choice to either react impulsively to external provocation or to act in a controlled, level-headed manner by which you communicate rationally to the offending party.

     

     We, as people belonging to the larger framework of a society that has its own norms regarding terms of self-expression, often commit a big disservice to that part of ourselves that forms our very essence by self-censoring expression. When we suppress how we feel, we turn our emotional energy inwards and create bodily symptoms for ourselves such as headaches, backaches and fevers. As much as self-control is advised in certain social situations, it is equally important for us to express what we are feeling openly through honest communication with the involved parties. Expression of one’s emotional state may also occur through art which helps channel our emotional energy in a way that gives us immense relief and liberation. 

     Emotional well-being can be enhanced if we recognise that no part of us can be disowned; there is no emotion that is “bad” or “wrong”. Celebrate both the frowns and the smiles, for they make you as interesting as you are. 

SANGEETHA MADHU & JYOTHI RAVICHANDRAN, 

THE NEW INDIAN EXPRESS- SCHOOL EDITION

YOUNG MINDS 01

Curious Thing, Memory!

     Have you ever had an uncontrollable urge to start cleaning up your room or your cupboard when you have an especially mind-numbing homework assignment to complete? You are not alone! Many a mother finds to her amusement (and relief) that messy cupboards right themselves with perfection equalling magical proportions at a periodic interval that corresponds to the exam times! One good thing that comes out of this exercise is that when one wants a pair of socks from the cupboard, one could find just that and not a smelly old handkerchief hidden beneath all sorts of debris! 

     The memory system that we all possess can be understood to function in just this way. When we store material we learn in class in an orderly fashion, following some kind of structure or rule, we find it easy to recollect any bit of information. When we store a whole bunch of information in no particular order than the ones in which we are taught one period after the other, recalling what we need becomes difficult and we are left standing in class, scratching our heads as the teacher looks smugly on.

     Although these memory techniques may not make head scratching in class go away completely, they will help us remember things more effectively. Let’s look at a few tricks now:

1. Acronyms- This is a technique that is very helpful in learning bits of information that is seemingly large. For example, if you wanted to memorise Albus Dumbledore’s full name, which is Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore, you could form an acronym using the first letters of his name such as AP (for Andhra Pradesh) and WB (Warner Brothers) and you are set to rock any Harry Potter trivia quiz!

2. Mnemonics/Verbal Associations- This technique is used when you have a large amount of information that is seemingly meaningless or unrelated. For example, if you were told to remember the following words: Chair, Laptop, Jump, Poke, inducing meaning into this random series makes memory effective. An association such as this may work: She was sitting on a CHAIR as her LAPTOP beeped, making her JUMP as if it had given her a POKE!

3. The VAKT Way- Many people learn information in many different ways. Some learn well from Visual aids such as diagrams and flow-charts; some benefit from Auditory techniques such as audio books or a friend giving an answer in points before entering the exam hall; Kinesthetic learners are those who learn things by doing and experimenting; and Tactile learners are those who learn about things through touch and manipulation. Think about which of these methods help you best!

4. Clustering- This technique works well when you have to remember a long string of numbers, like a phone number or an abnormally lengthy library number. For example, some people cluster phone numbers into the first 4 numbers, followed by the next three numbers and then the last three numbers lending it a certain rhythm or tune!

5. Practice- There is no escape from this! Repeated practice of verbal and numerical information, dance and music strengthens neural connections in your brain making the memory stay longer. So take out that maths book and get cracking, I say!

SANGEETHA MADHU & JYOTHI RAVICHANDRAN, 

THE NEW INDIAN EXPRESS- SCHOOL EDITION