THE BEANBAG PSYCHOLOGIST 19

Social Networking, NOT Working!

     Deepa came home after a long hard day of tuitions and tests and threw herself across the bed, thoroughly exhausted. As sleep crept over her, she wondered, in the last moment of heavy-lidded consciousness, if her latest profile picture had received a new comment. Her sleep drew back  a little. Had she edited her picture just right so that the lighting and colouring flattered her features perfectly? Sleep struggled to take over but Deepa’s anxiety managed to keep it at bay. What if Sneha, Arjun, Karthik and Chitra had posted “funny” comments really designed to just annoy her and make her feel silly about herself? Sleep gave up trying to bring her under its calming oblivion as she forced herself out of bed to take a “quick look” at her profile.

     How about you? Do you check and recheck your response to others’ online posts so that you appear at your humorous best? Have you convinced yourself that the number of “likes” you get on a post is a direct estimate of your value as a person?

     Our primal need to belong to a certain social group in which we feel loved, appreciated and approved of, is beginning to manifest in quite an interesting way through our contemporary obsession with social networking. To be connected with friends and family on an informal platform where all our quirks are celebrated and accepted whereas at the dining table they would be frowned upon, can be very liberating. One is also encouraged to take a moment to understand what they are feeling at a particular time and what opinions they hold on a particular issue so that they may be updated as statuses or tweets. 

     This ability of these platforms to stimulate reflection and thought is a wonderful thing. They promote dialogues between people from different disciplines and backgrounds, thereby providing everyone with an opportunity to expand their sphere of experience and knowledge. Right? Well, maybe not if our understanding of social networking is limited to its potential to generate a flawless image of ourselves that completely disowns our imperfections and shortcomings. 

     Such a “construction” of ourselves and our lives takes an inordinate amount of time to craft and maintain! Sources estimate school-going students spend 7 hours a day on an average on these sites. That is just a criminal waste, considering there are actual people to meet and make eye contact with, real footballs to be kicked, real saplings to be planted, real rooms to be tidied up instead of virtual villas, not to mention an actual person to improve and nurture (thy honourable self), rather than a virtual avatar!

     Everyone has self-doubts, including the circle of friends whose approval we seek so much. The identity you have for yourself is such an intimate part of your growth. To invite others’ opinions and judgments in shaping your self-concept is unfair and harmful. To contribute to a trend of “watching” what others do with their lives and to exploit the anonymity that internet affords us to sling harmful comments at others robs the growing generation of integrity and personal accountability.

     Try to look beyond the superficial and you may be able to experience the joy of genuine human connectedness that goes beyond mere popularity.

SANGEETHA MADHU & JYOTHI RAVICHANDRAN, THE HINDU IN SCHOOL

THE BEANBAG PSYCHOLOGIST 18

Scaling Morality

     Toddler Shiva was forbidden from biting his brother as his mother said it hurts him very much. Well, thought Shiva, why else would I bite him if I didn’t want it to hurt?! So his mother tried another tactic. She would emit a shrill, frightening shout when he attempted an assault on his brother. If this doesn’t succeed in stopping him, his mother’s palm would meet his backside in a loud thwack. This did the trick.

     The fear of punishment and threats of an all seeing God who will poke our eyes if we did anything wrong was the first ever moral code of conduct we learned. Our morality then was something external to ourselves and not an integral part of how we lived our lives. This is described by Lawrence Kohlberg as the first level of moral development.

     The second stage is when we begin to understand there is no absolute right and wrong. We have the freedom to act in ways that meet our interests. Ria might fight for her friend’s cycle as they had decided to ride it in turns and her friend doesn’t want to share. A smaller child might reason that since the cycle is her friend’s, Ria shouldn’t fight for it but an older child recognises that it is not quite so simple as the friend is not being fair.

     The third stage is when we want to live up to the expectations of those whom we respect such as the elders in the family and figures of authority like our teachers. Our moral reasoning now goes beyond fear of punishment to holding good intentions and operating out of concern and empathy for others. This may be why we celebrate the idea of modern day Robin Hoods who act in questionable ways for the larger good of the poor and underprivileged. 

     If you believe staunchly that no matter what, one shouldn’t step over the law for the good of society as a whole, you are in the fourth stage. Staying on the good side of the law isn’t to avoid punishment but to preserve social harmony. The idea here is, if everyone starts to live by his own rules then the society will be ruled by chaos.

     In stage five, our morality expands to respect individual values and rights of people in the society and this can lead to revision of laws that are unfair to certain sections of society. For example, legal Acts were amended declaring that daughters should also benefit from parent’s property and not just the sons.

     It is important to not just understand which stage we are at but to aspire to the next level too. As your social circle expands, you will come across a variety of people who have their own ideas of morality and many times this will differ greatly from yours. The most important responsibility as a citizen of this world is that we don’t exclude or condemn a particular person or group because of their moral codes. A non-judgmental and inclusive mindset driven towards justice and equality for all is the true sign of moral growth.

SANGEETHA MADHU & JYOTHI RAVICHANDRAN, THE HINDU IN SCHOOL 

THE BEANBAG PSYCHOLOGIST 17

A Severe Case of Hilaria*!

     On what is easily the most colourful day of the year, some respected members of the society, discerning adults, serious students preparing for final exams and curious little children alike, had their nose plastered against their computer screens trying to “smell” a wet dog, vampires, a new car, and of course the indispensable olfactory delight, roses! This foolish enchantment with what technology can possibly achieve was fuelled ingeniously by the pranksters at Google who released their Google Nose gag to celebrate April 1. Once upon a humorous time in New York, a practical joke aficionado of the name Hugh Troy used an old-fashioned umbrella shaped like a rhino’s foot to create imprints in snow, causing the students, faculty and management of Cornell University to believe there was indeed a rhino in the campus!

     Honking a horn every time your mother opens her mouth, sticking insulting signs on an unsuspecting (or a fully suspecting) friend’s back, punching holes in a sibling’s water bottle  are just some of the countless other imaginative pranks that have been fundamentally designed to celebrate our childlike love for play.

Play has the very important purpose of dispelling tension. Practical jokes allow us to get in touch with our inane whims, which were indulged so much more when we were younger. In their ability to provoke spontaneous laughter, hoaxes and pranks (that are not dangerous or frightening) lower blood pressure and help one cope healthily with the demands of everyday life.

     Many of you may have stopped playing routinely when you reached middle school. Students in older classes may still play competitive sports but it is adults who seem to have completely forgotten the simple pleasures of playing! It is an art that seems to be lost in the transition of a child into an adolescent and finally an adult. Play is crucial for improving one’s creativity and problem solving skills. 

     Play (preferably without serious competition) brings people closer as inhibitions are lowered causing one to become more open to the individuality and uniqueness of another person.  The communicative value of play is an important reason why companies invest so much time and resources in team building exercises which are essentially games and group tasks designed upon the carefree principles of play.

     The modality of “play therapy” is particularly designed to establish an unthreatening environment to children who have experienced trauma, suffer from psychological issues such as depression, anxiety or have learning difficulties. Play offers a medium of communication that a child is comfortable with while at the same time, encouraging the child to learn social, academic and  emotional skills in an exploratory, undemanding setting.

     Lay aside the cynicism and celebrate April Fool’s week with gusto. Play has a lot more to offer than simple fun. You will be the better for indulging your inner clown!

*Hilaria is Latin for hilarious.

SANGEETHA MADHU & JYOTHI RAVICHANDRAN, THE HINDU IN SCHOOL

THE BEANBAG PSYCHOLOGIST 16

Déjà vu: Paranormal or Neurological?

     “Oh! Look the new cafe is finally open! I love how cosy and quaint it looks!” “Oh! Look the new cafe is finally open! I love how cosy and quaint it looks!” Pia was walking along the market with her mother, remarking casually on the new cafe which had opened up as an odd feeling swept over her that she had been in this exact situation before, commenting on this very cafe which had not even been in existence until a week ago! This eerie feeling of having experienced a situation before when, in fact, we know for certain we haven’t is termed “déjà vu” which is French for “already seen”. Some of us may even feel like we have “felt” something previously called déjà senti; or having had already visited a place called déjà visite.

     Deja vu is a familiar sensation that most of us have experienced and it can be somewhat unsettling due to its strange premonitory quality. 

     Parapsychologists attribute this phenomenon to clairvoyance and even to previous experiences in a past life repeating themselves. Since such a claim cannot be proved, disproved or otherwise investigated, we turn to research in neuropsychology to understand the nature and cause of déjà vu.

     Neurological causes are typically complex and varied given the complexity of the brain, only a fraction of which has rendered itself to scientific knowledge. Early investigations in to déjà vu centred around people with brain pathology as their reports of déjà vu were striking and frequent. For instance, in 1896, a prominent neurologist F.L. Arnaud described the déjà vu experience of a 34 year old man who was recovering from cerebral malaria. He claimed to recognise certain newspaper articles and seemed to “recognise” almost every situation.  

     A series of research spanning decades suggests that déjà vu is caused by misfiring of neurons in the part of the brain which is  responsible for recognising familiar stimuli. This particular system in the brain is responsible for judging if we have come across a certain situation before or not. In people suffering from epilepsy originating in their temporal lobe (which is on either sides of the brain), this recognition system falsely gives an impression of familiarity with a new situation, giving rise to a sense of déjà vu.

     In people who do not suffer from epilepsy or any other pathology of the brain, the brain areas responsible for retrieval of memory, i.e. accessing old memories to aid in the current situation, can lead to a sense of already having been there before. These brain areas have been identified by Spatt (2002) as being the prefrontal cortex (the front region of the frontal cortex) and hippocampus (a structure present in the limbic system of our brain crucial for memory processes).

     Deja vu is one of the glitches in our memory system which makes us ponder as to what makes our memories feel real or surreal as the case may be as the case may be. Oh well!

SANGEETHA MADHU & JYOTHI RAVICHANDRAN, THE HINDU IN SCHOOL

THE BEANBAG PSYCHOLOGIST 15

Evolved Distrust

     “Us-Them”, “Insiders-Outsiders”. This human tendency to look in boundary-establishing binaries is a natural and untaught mechanism that has developed evolutionarily. As most of us know, humans have always lived in tribes for safety, security and to procure valuable resources for survival. Any given tribe was always wary of strangers from other tribes as they were threats who could possibly pass on terrible diseases, otherwise hurt and harm individuals and children or even compete for life-sustaining resources. In a sense, it paid off to think of outsiders as “bad” or “dangerous” for the protection of one’s own tribe. This ancient distrust of individuals who didn’t belong to our group manifests itself in many varied and complex ways today.

     An inevitable outcome of ignorance is that we assume certain things about these “outsiders” and use these assumptions or stereotypes to understand their behaviour. For example, “Women are emotional”, “Men are insensitive”, “Math teachers are strict” are all stereotypes and not universal truths, yes even the last one! Stereotypes mostly tend to characterize the subjects as possessing undesirable qualities or lacking in virtue, talent or even morality, when compared to the in-group. This is the beginning of all sorts of trouble and it has a name too- prejudice.

     Psychologists describe prejudice as a baseless (i.e. without backed by evidence), usually negative attitude towards members of a certain group. At a thought-level, either conscious or unconscious, all of us hold preconceived notions about people, groups or ideas foreign to our own but many of us, when we come in actual contact with different groups, act on our prejudices at which point it is called discrimination. Discriminating means denying respect, opportunities and resources to others on the basis of  race, religion, language or even talent and ability. It is a misguided act and causes great damage to those on the receiving end as it damages their self-esteem and effectively alienates them from the larger society. To snatch away a sense of belonging and purpose from someone just based on inadequate understanding and intolerance to difference is a terribly irresponsible thing to do.

     So what can be done about our prejudices if they are, as proved by countless research, an evolutionary trait and an automatic mechanism? Surely we can be excused for it! No. When we are equipped with a superior cognitive apparatus that is amazingly malleable, flexible and has a tremendous capability for self-awareness, the option available to us it to simply acknowledge our prejudices and self-correct them by developing empathy towards others. A simple assumption of ourselves as being in their shoes and living their lives can help the most dogmatic of individuals to expand their minds to newer possibilities and appreciate differences in others.

SANGEETHA MADHU & JYOTHI RAVICHANDRAN, THE HINDU IN SCHOOL

THE BEANBAG PSYCHOLOGIST 14

Sour Grapes All Over Again!

     So! Here we are, reading the newspaper post 21^st December, 2012! The earth still sturdy beneath our feet, the breeze still unperturbed and cool on our face, and all the exams of the future steadily approaching us with crushing inevitability, no doomsday to the rescue! The 2012 phenomenon as the doomsday theory is being referred to has caused substantial panic among many throughout the globe. Numerous online discussion forums, blogs and videos on survival tips in case of cataclysmic earthquakes or hurricanes, hundreds of assurance-seeking questions addressed to scientist and space researchers over the last year are all testament to just how shaken many people were. But what is particularly interesting about this mass panic is many of us have been brought to consider hard facts as evidence that the world is not going to end! But once some of us come to believe in a tiny worm of an idea, it is a matter of time before it germinates to a stubbornly held belief that resists all evidence to the contrary.

     The bunch of us who have always scoffed at the idea of the world ending may now be smirking. But what of those who truly and completely believed so? The contradiction between what they thought and what has come to be will cause what psychologist Leon Festinger called cognitive dissonance. All people are motivated to solve this dissonance and maintain consistency in their thoughts and beliefs to enjoy inner equilibrium. In one of his books, Festinger had written about the case of a group of people in a cult who believed that the world would end after  a catastrophic flood on 21^st December, 1954. The founding member of the cult claimed to have received the prophecy from a fictional planet. The prophecy continued to say that only true believers will be rescued by a flying saucer. The members who staunchly believed this left their jobs, families and possessions to leave on the saucer. The said flood did not come to be. Some of the members were so distraught that they started crying. To reduce the terribly disturbing dissonance between their belief and the thought that they were wrong about the flood, the group made  a statement to the media that this disaster was averted owing to the faithfulness of the members!

     The attempt at reducing dissonance can make us resort to maladaptive thoughts and actions such as when we know smoking is injurious and yet, contrary to this knowledge we still smoke. Many smokers resolve this by altering their attitudes about smoking instead of just quitting! Calling the grapes sour is not the best practice most times. It is important to rightly choose which attitude is best altered for resolution of dissonance.  

 SANGEETHA MADHU & JYOTHI RAVICHANDRAN, THE HINDU IN SCHOOL

THE BEANBAG PSYCHOLOGIST 13

Knock on Wood so the Going Gets Good!

     Cause and effect. Even as you hear it, it feels like one has hit upon an infallible formula to demystify the world. Cause and effect makes one believe that everything is caused by something, and everything has a predictable consequence(s). What a comforting feeling it is to know that we can account for any phenomenon, however confusing or inexplicable it may seem at first! There is an understandable cause and effect relationship between sitting in a hot and humid classroom and low levels of concentration; between poor eating habits and low immunity and between excessive internet use for entertainment and a hopping mad parent!

     Just when we think we have figured it all out, a black cat crosses your path on your way to school and somewhere over your head, a pigeon decides to relieve itself. Just as you are making faces at God above, the real culprit, the black cat comes to mind. There, we have a cause and effect explanation, albeit a skewed one, which psychologists call “magical thinking” but we are satisfied as we have hit upon a reason for why something happened.

     We like having a fairly certain idea of what is going to happen in our future. But sometimes things such as loss or failure happen outside of our control and there is really no plausible explanation as to why it happened to us! When we have done everything in our power to succeed in something, we leave the eventual unfurling of outcomes to some higher power, such as when we take our “lucky” pen out to an exam, wear a “lucky” charm bracelet, put our right foot forward, etc.

     Now, most of us know that there is no direct causal relationship between any luck charm and winning a game of tennis. But what keeps the faith alive, then? The effect that superstitious beliefs have on actual outcomes are mediated through our mind. The belief that if you have faith in A, then B will happen offers a lot of hope and a great level of perceived control in us. Imagine as you go through a typical school day, your right eye twitches and the promise of good luck through the day lingers like a glowing candle in your mind, boosting your spirits which allows for better  performance and better interactions with peers through the day!

     This feeling of hope and peace feeds further superstitious entanglements and that’s when things get dicey!  If you must always wear your right shoes before your left,  the odd day that you forget this routine may disrupt your peace and thereby make you perceive the happenings of the day to be more awful than they really were! You feel everything could have been better, all because of one personal routine! We need to be wary of when our beliefs begin to take control over our reason and become compulsive. The minute our beliefs start causing us anxiety, we are going to have to take a step back and reassess their utility.

     Superstitious routines and beliefs are useful only insofar as they keep up our good humour, but then again, how many other alternative sources of good humour do we have other than a twitchy eye? 

SANGEETHA MADHU & JYOTHI RAVICHANDRAN, THE HINDU IN SCHOOL